Ümlãút Ovérloãd– May 10^th Game

Schnäck.  Enoügh said.  Rümors aboünded of an über-team with ice in their veins, glüe in their gloves and TNT in their bats.   We had last faced them in the playoffs last year, and they showed their potential.  They were good, büt had they gotten better?  It was natüral to feel some pressüre – this was oür first trüe test of the team.  To qüote The Matrix, “They güard all the doors, they hold all the keys.  Sooner or later, we’ll have to face them.”

The B61 Lineüp, sponsored by Vipond Woodworking

Catcher: “Coppertop Amy” and “We Love” Lücy from Statesboro

Pitcher: “I can do this, Coach” Jonathan and Mattie B

1^st Base: “Home Rün Henry”

2^nd Base: “BGs” Betsy

Shortstop: Chris the “Willie”

3^rd Base: “Canadian Clübber” Jamie

Left Field: Steve the Spin Doctor

Center Field: Ca-pone

Right Center Field: Mattie B, Jonny C. and Big Ali R.

Right Field: “Tam Tam” Tamara

DH: JJ Arnez

DL: “The loüdest cheerer this side of Boston” Alyce, Johanna of the Gall Bladder Inspiration

Oür Fans: “Too Little Too Late” Tracey, Snapple Al, ??

The Game

Right from the start, this game was going to be different.  Warmup was delayed by a high school softball game, so I was a little impatient to get to the mound for BP.  When I got there, there was a softball on the mound.  I was trying to return it to the high school team when the Schnack pitcher said, “Oh, that’s mine.  I wanted to reserve the mound so I could warm up a bit.”  Sneaky.

Before the game, Rhino the Spin Doctor was given another chance for the pep talk.  “I realize that everyone complained that I was skeptical last week, so I gave my speech some thought.  What do people who go to Schnack need?” Huh?  “They need their gall bladders removed.”  Double huh?  (I’ll fill in the gap of the logic – Schnack serves greasy food.  The gall bladder produces bile which breaks down the grease.  Too much work and gall bladder needs to be removed.  Something like that.)  “So, here’s a picture of Johanna’s gall bladder that was removed.”  Yuck.  Do we have to see that again?  “Today, with surgical precision, we’re going to remove their gall bladders.”  A little gross, but it worked for me.  I guess it worked for everyone as we cheered the Spin Doctor.  A bigger cheer went out for the return of Mattie B. who was coming off the DL to run down all of those opposite field shots that Schnack likes to hit to right center.

We take to the field, and Schnack quickly shows their stuff.  They aren’t great hitters, but they hit to the right places.  My pitching is shaky, and I just can’t throw strikes as usual, so that only adds to the problem.  6 hits and 2 walks later, they’re up 5-0.  I’ll say this – they’re fast, and they know how to run the bases.  I throw a strikeout looking, and we end the side.

Their pitcher is putting some zing into the ball.  We think it’s too fast, but Blue doesn’t seem to mind.  That doesn’t stop Rhino from hitting a good blooper to right center to start us off.  Jamie tests out the green monster bat, and it does the job for a base hit past the shortstop.  Home Run Henry lives up to his name with a smack to right field which they can’t pick up.  He speeds home, and it’s 5-3!  Nice.  Mattie starts off his big return with a fast wheeling single to 1^st, but we leave him sitting on base with no way home.

Schnack starts the 2^nd with a quick Jamie-Henry relay for the first out and then a line drive that hits me square in the gall bladder.  Ouch.  Several more hits and 3 walks brings Jamie to the mound.  “I’m going to bring in Matt.”  “Just give me one more batter.”  He doesn’t even look me in the eye.  “Go out to right center.”  I guess that’s what we need because the next batter pops up to Henry who throws to Jamie to get the double play at 3^rd.  A 10-3 slippage.

At least bad pitching makes me a better batter, so I lead off with a single past the 2^nd baseman.  It gives me a chance to see how crazy these guys take their softball – they’re trying pick off the runners at 1^st and 2^nd in between pitches??   Is that even worth it?  Guess it’s so the catcher doesn’t get bored.  (Am I allowed to run if they overthrow to the base?)  Would Amy’s thighs not hurt so much if she tried that too?  A couple of sacrifice hits advance me to third, and JJ rips a triple out to left field to bring me home.  Another Rhino blooper brings JJ home, and we creep back to 10-5.

In a quick turnaround, we shut Schnack down with a quick Matt-Henry combo, a big catch in right field by Tamara and another catch by me in right center.  The two catches are especially good since Tam and I are sitting in the left field of a baseball game behind us, surrounded by their outfielders.  Unfortunately, we can’t take advantage of it, and after two more innings, Schnack has advanced their lead to 12-5.

The 5^th inning brings Lucy in to catch, and Big Al to take over in right center.  What do you mean you don’t know who Lucy is?  Sorry, you probably know her as Renee.  The change seems to help as defense does a good job to take them down 1-2-3.

Jamie gets our first base hit in the 5^th with a single that’s too hot for the shortstop to handle.  Oh Henry follows with a hit out to right center for which the fielder falls over the ball??  The ball goes right past him, and once again, Jamie and Henry round the bases.  Does everything this guy hits turn into a home run?  I certainly hope so.  13-7.

Key catches by Tam Tam and Big Al take us to the 7^th inning still down by 6 with Schnack up to bat.  We’re still within range.  Schnack proceeds to pepper shots past our infield, and they increase their lead to 15-7.  17-7.   They ask the ump if they can call the slaughter rule, but Blue tells them that the rule is 12 runs, not 10.  They keep up their hitting streak, and 2 runs later, Blue calls the game.  One of the Schnack players even has the audacity to say, “Oh, we wish we didn’t have to call it.  We wish it could be different.”  What?  You were the one asking for it.  Whatever.  Blue leaves, but they agree to play the bottom of the 7^th.  Base hits by Renee, Whippit and the Rookie load the bases in time for Roberto to come to bat.  We tell him to hit the ball like Henry, but it’s not enough.  We take our first L for the season.

Memorable Moments

·         The green monster bat.  Willie, I hope you got the good bat back in time for this game!

·         Johanna saying at the bar that a loss was good for our hubris and Jamie’s reply, “Johanna, you don’t have to use those big words for me.”

·         We should never forget how they just go for base hits and hits to opposite field.  Wonder if we can set up our field differently for that

Player of the Game

Tamara gets player of the game.  We knew they were going to be hitting to right field all day, and they did.  Fortunately, Tamara was there to stop them.  Two huge catches and several pickups of bloopers kept us on their heels for the entire game.

My Turn for a Pep Talk

Ok.  Schnack is good.  I can see why they’re leading the league.  After the game, people were talking about how “we can play as well as they do.”  Something about that bothered me, and I just realized what it is.  Trust me, I’ve relived this game and my first two innings hundreds of times, and now, I know why we can put this game behind us.  The truth is that we can’t play as well as they do.  We wouldn’t want to.  We’re not going to wear funky baseball pants, have secret signs, try to pick off the runners between pitches or work on strategies for running the bases.  That’s not who we are or what we do.  Everyone was telling me to pitch with more pace because that’s what the Schnack pitcher was doing.  I was off last Wednesday, but partially because I was trying to pitch like someone I’m not.    We shouldn’t put that type of pressure on ourselves.

We’re not Schnack, and we shouldn’t want to be.  ß61 Büs Stöps doesn’t even look right.  We have our own B61 style, and we’ve seen how effective that can be.  The power in our lineup, the scrappiness of our defense-  that’s how we win games and walk tall.  That’s how we can beat even the best.  To bring us full circle, in order to win the championship, sooner or later, we’ll have to face Schnack.  Will we be as good as they are?  When we’re ready, we won’t need to be.  

We’re B61, and that’s a whole different game.

Special Ode to Johanna

Oh, Johanna.

How do I love thee? 

Let me count the ways.

0-1, 0-2, 0-3

Sorry for leaving you off the writeup last week!  Oops.

You can read the writeups at www.redhooksoftball.com/b61/ or through the B61 softball blog at www.blogger.com.