McMay I Buy an Out?--June 23^th Game

To the tune of “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by The Georgia Satellites

I got a little ump in my pocket
Goin ching-a-ling-a-ling

Gotta get ‘im to my game, baby
Give him a ring
And each time he talks
B6 gets the same old thing
All balls and no strikes
”Sorry but I didn’t see a thing."
McMahons, my baby
Don't you worry yourself

She said, "We can’t lose this game
when it’s called by my elf."

The B61 Lineup, sponsored by Czar Solutions – Building Your Business with Technology

Catcher: Coppertop Amy and “I won’t make any jokes although I could” Tamara

Pitcher: “Can I borrow $5 to buy a strike zone?” Jonathan

1^st Base: “I hit line drives at my own pitcher because I was neglected as a child” Henry

2^nd Base: “I’ll represent us on Judge Judy” Betsy

Shortstop: “Sir Hit-A-Lot” Willie

3^rd Base: “Canadian Club” Jamie

Left Field: DeMVP Matt

Center Field: Anthony “Where Is the dirt on my body?!?” Ca-Pone

Right Center Field: Jason the “Rookie” and Roblums

Short Center Field: “Shake Your Thang” Renee and “Ribbi” Alyce

DH: “Lawyer of the Year” Alex Reinert and Whippit

Our Fans: “Teach” Tracey, Amanda and Pieces

The Game

Wow.  Big game.  McMahon’s leads the West division and beat Schnack.  A formidable opponent.  Were we up to the challenge?  Jamie gave us the added incentive that the defensive player of the game would get a free shot at the bar.  Not top shelf, of course.

B61 got to bat first for once.  Things were looking good as Matt and Rookie took walks to start us off.  Jamie followed with a smart double between 1^st and 2^nd to drive them home.  Not too shabby.  We shut them down 1-2, and Matt makes a killer throw to 3^rd so Jamie can tag the runner and prevent a triple.  Out number 3.  In the 2^nd, we score one more run, but they respond with some justified base hits and a triple with loaded bases to score 6.  It doesn’t help that the ump is giving me no strike zone.  Going into the 3^rd, we have a game of 3-6.

They make 2 quick outs on us to bring Henry to the plate.  “He’s got some swing,” says Pieces to anyone willing to listen.  Herny hits a base hit chopper to prove him right.  McMahon’s doesn’t know where to play him, so Jamie follows with a home run deep into left field.  6-5.  Not to be outdone, Betsy makes a big ass hit far over the left fielder.  Makes him look stupid as she takes the double.  “C’mon, Capone.  Don’t leave me here.”  Unfortunately, McMahon’s stops us, and we leave Betsy stranded.

I start their side of the 3^rd with 2 crazy walks.  I think it was their joking with the ump, “Is that spin illegal?” that throws me off and all the other trash they start talking.  That’s ok.  I recover, and we make some errors, but we hold them to only 2 runs.  On one play, Willie catches a ball from the outfield, and the McMahon runner dives under him to get back to 2^nd.  It’s softball, so we don’t contest the call.  If only we knew what was to come.

In the 4^th, Willie hits a perfectly placed base hit, and I follow with a grounder past the 1^st baseman.  I’ll have to say this, they adjust their fielders well to respond to our batting.  Big Al advances me and Willie to 2^nd and 3^rd to bring Amy up to bat with 2 outs.  She smacks one to right field, and the short fielder throws to make the play.  From 3^rd base, I can clearly see that she was safe, but McMahon’s acts like she was out, and blue takes their side.  Willie’s run home doesn’t count, and we’re still trailing 8-5.  What a big call that was – it would have brought Matt up with me on 3^rd and Amy on 1^st.

Blue continues to stiff us with a small strike zone, and we let them load the bases with their catcher up to bat.  Blue makes some crazy calls for the McMahon’s catcher to make the count 3-1.  Jamie makes a bold decision to bring Matt in to finish it and puts me in left field.  “I’ll bring you back in.  We just need to get this out.”  Talk about pressure.  Matt comes through and holds them, but the next batter gets a base hit to drive in 2 runs.  Ugh.  Jamie brings me back to pitch.  Their 3^rd baseman gets a hit off me, but then, Matt catches an easy pop fly, and we finish it with just 2 runs in.  10-5.  We can do that.

We were certainly going to try.  Matt led off the top of the 5^th with a solid base hit.  Jason pulled a 3-2 count and got his own base hit on an error by the 3^rd baseman.  Home Run Henry lifted our spirits by watching him hit a long ball out into right center field.  Unfortunately, the joy was short-lived as their center field ran at a sprint and caught it.  However, the hit was worth it because it must have tired the center fielder out just enough so he couldn’t grab Jamie’s line drive to the other side of left field.  Matt scores and we’re down by 4.  Later, with 2 outs against us, Capone hits a grounder to the shortstop and races it out.  He lunged for the bag and fell when it slipped out from underneath him.  The ump calls him safe, but McMahon’s starts walking off the field and saying he was out for sliding.  SO, what does blue do?  He reverses the call.  What???  We go crazy, especially Capone, Henry and Jason.  “If I slid, where’s the dirt on my clothes?”  Ridiculous.  The ump even admitted to Jamie that he didn’t see the play.  How could he trust McMahon more than us?  Another crucial call against us.  Could the ump favor them any more?

We were mad.  At least being mad makes us play better; it certainly makes me pitch better.  We hold them to 1 more run, especially with a good throw by Henry through a gap in the dugout fence to reach me at home so I could tag out the runner.  Way to thread the needle! 

Willy starts out the 6^th with yet another base hit – he’s 4 for 4 for the day.  Alyce gets a hit with her first at bat.  McMahon’s plays me heavily sided to the right field side, so I pull the ball with a chopper to the 3^rd baseman who’s playing at the shortstop position.  He tries to throw the ball to 3^rd base to get Willie out before realizing that he’s the 3^rd baseman???  By that time, it’s too late to get me or Alyce out.  With bases loaded, Whippit follows with a great shot down the 3^rd base line, but unfortunately, the 3^rd baseman catches it.  They get the 3^rd out, and we leave the field with 3 ducks on the pond, as they say.  We’re fighting though and making the opportunities.

Matt is a little sexual dynamo in the bottom of the 6^th.  He grabs two pop flies to get the first two outs, and later, picks up a loose ball in center field and rockets it home.  Unfortunately, his dynamo arm is too strong, and the ball flies over the backstop.  That’s an arm.  They score 2, but Matt catches out #3 as well.

This was it.  Our last chance.  13-6, so we were only down by 7.  We would not go gently.  Jamie hits a shorty to left field which they dropped because they were playing him so far back.  Good for a double.  Capone followed with a blooper double so Jamie could score.  13-7.  Capone even pretends to slide just to play with McMahon’s.  Could this be a B61 2-out rally?  Unfortunately, not this time.  One catch by the shortstop, and this game was over. 

Many of us were furious with the game.  Betsy refused to pay the ump and even said that he would have to take us to small claims court, and she would represent us!  It all came clear when the ump drove away in his BMW with 3 of the McMahon players.  No wonder he called the game in their favor.  Someone thought that he was actually dating their catcher.  To top it off, some of the McMahon players even agreed that Capone was safe.  Where’s the spirit of the game?  Can’t they win on their own skill?  They have to push bad calls to take advantage?  I’m so glad I’m a Bus Stop.

Memorable Moments 

·         “Release the beast!”  Alyce’s cheer because she knew I was upset when I was at bat

·         Henry throwing the ball to me so I could tag the girl running for home.  When she finally reached the plate, she stuck her hip out into my crotch.  I swear, she meant nothing to me.

·         Special thanks to Wee Willie Wilcox – I was able to channel him to be 4 for 4 for the game too

·         “It’s only the 5^th inning?  This game is going on forever!”

·         Amy admiring her hit out to right field before remembering to run J

·         When a McMahon player came over to our dugout to joke about Capone being out, Tracey glared at him to make him quickly walk away.  Trust me, I know that look, and he was smart for walking away.

Player of the Game

Player of the game for offense goes to Jamie.  He was involved in 6 of the 7 runs we scored.  He got 2 RBIs with his first double, he hit a home run for 2 more RBIs, got a base hit in the 5^th to drive Matt home, and it was his double in the 7^th that put him in position for Capone to bring him home.  That’s what I call an offensive juggernaut. 

Defensive player of the game definitely goes to Matt.  He made some big outs including that throw to get the runner at 3^rd, and he was able to come in and pitch with a 3-1 count and bases loaded.  In a ballsy move at the bar, Tamara drank Matt’s shot after making a promise that she would be the DMVP of the next game.  Can’t wait to write about it!

You can read the writeups at www.redhooksoftball.com/b61/ or through the B61 softball blog at www.blogger.com.